


Disgusting -Spideypool (5+1)

by Bottom_PeteParker



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Deadpool - Freeform, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, M/M, Mental Health Themes, Mentions of Cancer, NO DEADPOOL 2 SPOILERS, NO INFINITY WAR TOPICS, NOT TOM HOLLANDS SPIDER MAN, Peter Parker - Freeform, Self Care, Self Esteem, Self Image, Spider Man - Freeform, Spideypool - Freeform, Strangers to enemies, Wade Wilson - Freeform, Weapons, hygiene, mercenary, peter isn't underage, sexual topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 02:21:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14945798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bottom_PeteParker/pseuds/Bottom_PeteParker
Summary: Alternatively Called: Five Times Wade Disgusted Peter And One Time He Didn't.This is a Wade Centric fic containing topics of mental health struggles and self image. Nothing too graphic but still.((unedited))





	1. Attitude

Wade Wilson has somewhat of a God Complex, at least on the outside. He’s always been self centered, somewhat of a survival technique, but it's mostly been because of his dazzling eyes and sparkling smile. Good looks can take a person far, even when they are young. He had good skin, soft hair, and he grew into sharp features. If batting his eyelashes didn't work he could quickly sweet talk his way into getting whatever he wanted, or out of whatever trouble he got himself into. If someone didn't like him, or if they didn't want to comply, he'd kick their ass and call it a day. If he didn't feel like dealing with it then it practically didn't exist. In his eyes, for the most part, he could do no wrong. Everything was easy and every action was justified.

 

That's why his origin story is so tragic. Soft hair dried and fell out in clumps, his skin sunk deep against his bone as his body ate away at his muscles. His eyes were dull and bloodshot, almost always glazed over. It felt like cancer attacked everything at once because he couldn't be bothered to make an honest living at a job with health insurance. Anytime he needed a doctor he'd either try his best to do the job himself or just wait it out to see if he'd croak. Apparently, WebMD is right sometimes when it constantly insists that the patient has ten different kinds of cancer. Sweet talk took too much effort for his fatigued mind and nobody thought of him as some big strong intimidator. Nobody was seduced or afraid, people just felt bad for him. Of course the Weapon X did not help as much as he thought it would, if anything it made Wade feel worse. Sure, he got his bulk back, but at what cost? The puppy dog eyes and charming smile meant nothing if people were terrified when they saw him in the light. The ugly scars looking back at him always made him shudder. The quote from Taylor Swift saying whatever the fuck about nightmares dressed as daydreams had been the perfect example of Wade until his world collapsed, now he was as much of a  monster on the outside as he had always been on the inside. Verbal tactics for seduction, persuasion, or agitation all turned into anxious rambling.

 

Wade wasn't ever a good guy, not really. He was always sort of a bully and he blamed his family as a cover. He had some good _in_ him but he felt destined to be some force of evil. He was a man bred from violence, raised in violence, and he thrived in violence. There were a few staples in his mind, some lines he wouldn't cross, but he was God. Worth was dictated by him, mercy was a gift in the rare case when he was feeling generous. Life wasn't precious unless he said it was. His father's life had meant nothing to him. Killing him was justified because Wade told himself that it was, he also told himself that he was justified after every hit for money. There was little guilt around his life of crime. Feelings never mattered unless they were his own, he had long ago convinced himself that the world was his. Being left scarred and being even less mentally sound than he had been to start with, the whole anti-hero thing made sense. He could still claim his God status, still present his enormous ego, while using a sweet costume to hide his true pain. Red covered the hollow, anxious, insecure remains of a man. Deadpool was really just another survival technique, even though technical immortality didn't need it. His mind did.

 

Spider-Man was disgusted by him from the moment they met, apparently even before that. He was truly selfless while Wade had always been completely selfish. Perhaps it was the struggling shreds of humanity left in him, the last green leaves on a barren January tree. Wade wanted to be like that guy.

 

Now, in the present, Wade tries hard not to get in his own way. He doesn't deliver fatal wounds anymore, he goes for the knees before he goes for the head. Spider-Man always seems pleased with his efforts of heroism, but he still swings away just as the dust begins to settle. He says he can't stand Wade, that his morals are horrific and his intentions aren't genuine. In the brief moments when Wade is honest with himself he can admit that the accusations are true. Spider-Man is quick to defend _criminals_ whenever Wade attempts to argue justification. He thinks he has the right to torture and kill bad people, Spider-Man thinks it's up to the system. He goes on and on about bias and systematic justice, becoming agitated when Wade points out those same flaws in the government system. Spider-Man believes that Wade is not absolute, he claims that Wade isn't qualified to be the judge or the executioner, and it pisses Wade off.

 

But, for some reason, he does it anyway. He still hangs around trying to get on Spidey's good side. After a four week streak of not killing anybody Spider-Man gives him an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Good job.” feels strangely better than a self titled God status. He still doesn't believe that the bastards they deal with deserve life but he tries his best to move past it. Loneliness must be a factor, another byproduct of his upbringing that haunts him. If there's nobody to worship him and validate his behavior, then how can he truly be above it all? He can't get his rocks off on compliments and attention anymore. In a way he idolizes Spider-Man, it's a deep infatuation, but he also wishes their spots were reversed. Wade daydreams about the spider themed vigilante seeking _him_ out, doing stupid shit to impress _him._ The past haunts him in many ways but the need for attention is suffocated by the blood on his hands. If he wasn't a _killer,_ a _scam artist_ , a _thief_ , and an asshole then maybe Spider-Man wouldn't be the only one who spent any time with him. Maybe it also wouldn't be so pathetic because Spider-Man doesn't keep quiet about hating him and his choices. Spider-Man isn't a friend, Wade is just a liability and his physical presence is enough to manipulate the web slinger into pretending to tolerate him.

 

Wade has always seen himself as a gift to those he allowed to interact with him, he was a privilege to society, he was a luxury few could afford. Now, he was an ugly parasite feeding off of what usually weren't technically praise. Spider-Man saw past the red and black, past the sass and ADHD, past the obnoxious chatter, he saw how ugly Wade has always been on the inside.

 

Spider-Man was just stupid enough to think that maybe he could fix Wade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **unedited**


	2. Hygiene

Spider-Man starts hanging around, no pun intended, more often. He doesn't immediately leave Wade at the wrap up of a fight, he also responds a little bit more. Spidey is a pretty smart guy so their banter is always fun and Wade feels pretty happy with their Sort-Of-Friends gig. Spider-Man is completely secretive about his identity and most aspects of his life while Wade generally doesn't give a shit. He doesn't have too much going on in this life, a prison forced on him like his scars, so he doesn't mind telling stories. There's one he won't talk about, warm eyes that remind him of who he once was, but he doesn't talk about her. She's safe far away from him so everything else is fair game. Spider-Man doesn't necessarily approve of a lot of the things that he casually mentions and he doesn't call Wade by his name, but for the most part Wade can pretend that they're just two friends in the city. He wishes they weren't friends, that they were at whatever label made Spider-Man okay with bending over and spreading his _amazing_ ass for Wade, but he backs off a little each day. A very, very, very little bit but Spidey appreciates the effort. Wade expresses his romantic interest via jokes that sometimes make the hero squirm under his gaze, but Spider-Man trusts that Wade will stay in his lane. Wade's a pretty reckless driver but he makes sure to keep his eyes on the road with Spidey. Nobody has ever truly had trust in Wade Wilson before.

 

Neither of them lifted their masks, another unspoken rule of their peculiar relationship. Wade's skin brings him flood of emotion and Spider-Man's identity is sacred. Wade doesn't fight with it, in fact he has great respect for it. Spider-Man is a great person and doing his best to keep his loved ones safe. It's admirable and Wade wouldn't risk all they have together on a few new features to visualize and save in his spank bank.

 

Spidey seems to be very patient, one of the more annoying aspects of his sainthood. He doesn't yell at Wade as much as other people do, he doesn't allow himself to be pushed away by frantic insults or actions that Wade doesn't really mean. For someone who hates Wade and all he stands for, Spider-Man sure does pull his punches. Wade _knows_ some of it is pity and that most of it is probably the damaged mental health that comes as part of their line of work, but it feels weird. He observes Wade and remembers habits and behaviors, details that Wade doesn't even notice half of the time. He's famous for being spastic and dangerously unpredictable but the webbed wonder has some kind of grasp on the distorted reality that Wade lives in. He doesn't push at the trigger buttons in times of frustration like Wade does, he rarely makes their disputes too personal. Since they have been on such neutral ground for so long, Wade sometimes mentions that they are friends. Sometimes Spidey argues about it, but lately he has just been ignoring it. Wade takes the little victories like that very seriously, he isn't sure if Spider-Man gets how important he is to Wade. In what feels like another lifetime Wade could have said ‘’Jump” and countless people would either say “How high?!” or “Off What?” but these days Wade feels the reverse pull, the need to please becomes more important.

 

“We’re friends right?” Spider-Man says one night, peaking Wade's interest. It's the first time the other man has referred to him as a friend directly. Wade nods violently, grinning from ear to ear. “Alright, then as a friend I have to ask, are you taking care of yourself?” The question is...weird. It doesn't sit right with Wade. Nobody cares about him, nobody ever did. The only concern people had ever felt towards him was if they thought they might be in danger or if they felt obligated to because he was a cancer patient. “What do you mean, like if I'm satisfying my manly needs?” Wade holds up his shield, it isn't vibranium but it’s verbal. He hides the soft spots of his mind and his heart behind it, deflecting the genuine worry in the hero’s voice. “Don't be gross...God, can you be serious for two minutes? I'm really trying to connect with you but every time I think you might be willing you have to start acting like an ass!” His words sting.

 

Spider-Man is surprisingly easy to read. His mask hides his facial cues but his hands and posture are incredibly active when he speaks. He consciously tries to control his tone in moments of emotion but the way his shoulders sag and his hands go into a frenzy amplify those slight changes. As a mercenary and a seasoned manipulatory, it is easy for Wade to pick up on. His days of cheating in illegal casinos also gives him an edge since the mask is debatably an artificial poker face. His companion sounds worried and guilt, a rare occurrence in Wade’s world, makes him lower his guard. Just a little. Spidey has been getting good at making him feel guilty for being an asshole and he doesn't even have to play mind games to do it. “Not really, why?” Wade answers hesitantly, unsure of the direction of the question. “You smell like a locker room that is full of homeless men, your body odor is nauseating.” Spider-Man doesn't sound as harsh as the words are, his character naturally sands down the edges that usually cause Wade to lash out. He isn't sure how to respond so he just says “Oh.” Spider-Man nods, as if Wade was actually having a conversation instead of zoning out in favor of inner monologues.

 

Wade hasn't engaged in self care in years. He feels unworthy of existence and he doesn't have anyone to impress. He hasn't showered in God knows how long because he can't stand the sight or the feel of his body. His skin is also extremely sensitive now, the scar tissue making every nerve and pore run an obstacle course to get their directions to his brain. Along with aches and pains, the cancer that remains in his body messes with his brain. His body can't cope with itself and emotional distress is only one of the many horrible things he experiences daily because of it. Dry skin and huge scabs just cling to him, when he takes off his suit the floor is covered in the weird flakes. Every little part of him is broken. Soaps leave chemical burns on his skin and running water feels like bullets raining down on him. It isn't worth it, Wade suffers enough. No avocado charcoal face masks or fancy lotions, self care for Deadpool is buying new guns, watching sitcoms, and binging on ice cream. For some reason, the comment gives him an itch. “Do I really smell that bad?” Spidey nods. “You die all the time and it smells like you do. Don't you dare say anything about pheromones or musk or…whatever weird joke you want to make. I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't really know how to address it.” Wade blinks at him, suddenly feeling insecure inside of his little red shell. It was designed to be a barrier to physical ridicule, also to look super badass but mostly to preserve his dignity, but now he feels exposed. “Alright baby boy, I’ll put that one in the suggestion box.” Spider-Man groans in frustration.

 

When he goes home, he still feels that itch. Wade spends some of his blood money on the most sensitive body wash he can find at the corner store. He also purchases a pink floral deodorant. When he goes home he gets out of his suit for the first time in around a month. He's pretty okay with dodging bullets and especially now that he hasn't been the one starting shoot outs, he really hasn't _needed_ to change into new clothes that much. He cringes at the sight of his body, the voices in his head making his trigger finger twitch. Wade steps into the shower that has never been used in his entire stay in this apartment and flinches. The water hurts like hell but he squeezes a huge pile of soap into the palm of his hand. He can feel it burning as he works it all over his body but he continues to wash himself. His body feels rigid, the pain making it almost too much to move. He changes into some sweatpants and a hoodie, he also grabs socks and some gloves. Wade doesn't put on his costume until it is time to go meet up with Spidey, he breaks out one of the clean ones. He rolls on what is probably too much women’s deodorant just to be safe. While he walks down the street, he feels surprisingly fresh. His nose isn't overpowered by the stench of blood, sweat, and rotten flesh. His body still hurts but he has a little more bounce to his step.

 

When he finally meets up with Spidey he gets a weird look. His head is turned to face Wade and the large white eyes just stare in his direction. “Pool, did you actually take a shower?” He asks, his voice sounding somewhat amused. They don't talk about it anymore than that but Wade feels accomplished, proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **unedited**


	3. Methods

Wade knew Spidey was just as fucked up as he is the first time he pulled a gun during a team up. Spider-Man lost his shit in that alley, he went so crazy that the robber actually escaped and robbed a store down the street. Spider-Man attempted to wrestle Wade to the ground, he also tried to take the gun. The only reason the hero even got the gun was because Wade was getting bored of their little WWE bit. He immediately took out one of the many back up guns he has attached to his suit. Spidey had screamed, Wade hadn't been sure if it was rage or frustration, but they went through the whole gag three more times before Spidey was out of breath. Stupid spider, always holding back. Realistically, Spidey was stronger than Wade, whatever emotions overwhelmed him seemed to make him forget that. Spider-Man was a good fighter and he was always so determined, the only way Wade could take him out in a simple weapon free fight would be to rely on the fact that Spidey had no formal combat training. Eventually, Wade learned Spider-Man wasn't a big fan of guns. Every single time Wade would reach for one he would immediately be lectured about gun violence in America. Wade suspected someone in Spidey’s life was the victim of such violence, it always sounded too personal. 

 

He put in a lot of work to keep Spider-Man around. All of the fun parts of the job like killing, shooting, and exploding things were not approved by Spidey. Wade found it hard to keep up with all of the rules they had, he would never want to buy a comic called ‘ _Deadpool : Not A Killer And Not For Hire_ ’. It frustrated Wade at times, why wasn't no killing enough? He kept his guns, grenades, knives, and swords on him. Every now and then Spider-Man would try and convince Wade to give up his babies but he always refused.

 

Spider-Man also hated the chit chat that Wade was famous for. He’d interrupt monologues, cut off rants, steal punchlines, or just tell him to shut up. Wade liked to taunt and mock the criminals, he also liked to pretend he was in some action movie full of cheap humor and lazy writing. Spidey just wanted to get the criminals cuffed and stuffed as quickly as possible. He had a great sense of humor and an extensive knowledge of pop culture, but he really was a buzzkill sometimes. Wade’s style is chaotic and loud, theatrics were important to him, but Spider-Man’s methods were much more PG-13. No guns and no yapping, two rules Wade breaks daily.They fight about it all the time, Spidey claims that Wade is the cause of about sixty-five percent of his headaches, naturally Wade can't keep his big mouth shut. “Well, I'll try extra hard to be as annoying as possible so we can get that percentage up to sixty-nine.” He howls with laughter but Spidey doesn't. He huffs, Wade always imagines a pout along with the little sound. “Are you twelve?” Wade can barely hear him over his own gasps for breath. “Actually, twelve times three! But close!” Wade dials back his cackling but he still lets out a few giggles. “I forget that you're only a little over a decade older than me, it feels like I just babysit you all night.” Despite the insult Spider-Man doesn't sound _too_ mad. Wade shrugs it off after the novelty of the moment expires. “You can sit on me anytime, baby.” Wade starts hysterically laughing again.

 

Spidey gets to that weird point of the night where he is mad but he doesnt mean it, he holds back like always, but he gets close to bursting. “This is why we only get a few perps a night, half the fight is you dicking around!” Wade tries to take him seriously during these moments, he tries extremely hard, but he feels the need to taunt his friend. “Awww! Does baby boy not wike my  jokey-wokey?” That always gets a rise out of him, Wade likes the short burst of negative attention he receives from it. He’s a sick fuck who likes to hurt people, even his best friends and romantic pursuits. For people in his life like Spider-Man, he tries not to go overboard. He would _never_ hurt Spidey, he just needs the charged moments every once in a while. “Deadpool, knock it off.” Wade scoots closer. “What if I don't?”

 

Even his flirting tactics annoy Spider-Man. He leans back, “You watch too many rom-coms DP, did you really think that one would work on me?” Spidey seems to have settled again. Wade shrugs his shoulders. “It was worth a shot.” They bask in the night air and distant traffic sounds for a little bit before Wade gets bored. He takes out a bullet and rolls it between his fingers, heavily focused on how it gleams in the light from the city around them. A red glove with webbed print takes it out of his hand and brings him back to reality. “Deadpool, I told you how I feel about guns. Come on man, I'm not in the mood today.” Spidey seems tired, he probably has a day job and can't nap whenever he wants like Wade. “Sorry my guy, they're part of the brand.” Wade sees Deadpool without guns as comparable to Spider-Man without the web stuff that shoots out of his wrists.“I can’t believe we’ve been working together for a year and a half, your method of doing everything is completely against most of my core values.” He’s doing the thing he always does, he says something that _should_ be hurtful but his tone isn't negative at all, almost like he finds what he’s saying a little interesting. Spider-Man is pretty open for a private guy, he doesn’t keep Wade in the dark and he doesn't play mind games. If Wade is confused Spidey will apologize and explain, he didn't take advantage of Wade’s weak mental state. He was a good person, not like Na⎼⎼   **other people** Wade used to know.

 

“I’m not trying to ruin your brand, I just don't like guns and I can't understand why you can't respect that.” Spidey picks at the fabric of his costume. “I know we fight like this a lot but I don't hate you. I used to think I did, but I dont.” Wade smiles at that, they've grown to respect each other despite their differences. He's about to make a joke but then  Spider-Man interrupts. “Out of all the stupid shit you do, playing with guns all the time really makes me sick. You've gotten better with the ‘unaliving’ or whatever you call murder, and I'm proud of you, but I can't be around you with all your guns out. I can maybe tolerate having them in your holsters and not out unless absolutely necessary, but I can't be around them all the time.” The hero sounds sad and Wade would give anything to be able to comfort him. He doesn't try to because tonight is one of the nights where the warmth doesn't sink too deep into  his skin and the voices tell him horrible things about himself that clearly must be true. “I'm going to go now but I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” Spider-Man stands up and stretches. Wade nods and watches the lean muscles of the other man move under his spandex. Spidey pats him on the back before he goes, not too long ago he wouldn't have even said goodbye.

 

Wade takes out one of the guns from his hip holsters and he turns it over in his hands. The dark thoughts in his head make suggestions but this is Wade’s only clean suit until the dry cleaner calls him and it’s his weekly shower night. Wade thinks about how he can reload this gun in the blink of an eye using only one hand and he runs his index finger over the trigger guard.

 

Wade takes out all the ammo. He puts it in an empty pocket and returns the gun to it’s holster, looking out as the dawn begins rising against the city skyline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **unedited**


	4. Apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **unedited**

Wade doesn’t have visitors over a lot...he literally never has visitors. Since his space is his own he treats it like it is, and not a cheap rental that he got to hide out in while he pursued spider themed ass. Just like his body odor he has grown numb to the smell, take out boxes full of half eaten food and rotting limbs everywhere don't bother him.

 

He doesn't even think about it until Spidey pauses at his window in sweatpants and a zip up hoodie. “Dude, your place is a wreck, holy shit.” Normally wouldn't make him feel bad, but Wade feels  _ angry. _ Not at Spidey for the rude comment, he is mad at himself for being such a slob and not even thinking about cleaning up before the man of his dreams came over. The space seems too small, not that the studio apartment ever felt big, and Wade starts to try and sneakily kick garbage out of the way. Spidey faces him, clearly watching him. “Pool, could you get me a drink please?” 

 

Wade hesitantly leaves Spider-Man alone to go get him a beverage. When he gets into the kitchen he notices two problems. Firstly, there are no drinks. Wade hasn't been grocery shopping since Y2K and he only orders take out. There's nothing to drink besides the one or two sips left in old cups left around the building. The second problem, of course, is the fact that he doesn't even have any cups. It's not like he could wash out a McDonalds cup and give Spider-Man unfiltered tap water in it.With humiliation setting in, Wade returns to his room to confess about the Beverage Situation.

 

Back in his room, Spider-Man is sitting criss-cross-applesauce on his floor in the middle of several piles. Some are clothes, some are weapons, some are just large piles of half eaten food. Spidey sorts quietly. “I don’t have any drinks.” is all that comes out. He's blunt, right to the point. Wade considers saying that they can order food but he quickly gets distracted by Spidey's cleaning. “What are you doing?” Spider-Man looks up. “I'm helping you clean up. You clearly have a hard time doing it yourself.” 

 

Spidey doesn't say it in a mean way. His voice is friendly and relaxed, he isn't trying to shame Wade. Spider-Man is a good guy. Good guys help people. Wade wants to _ swoon _ , Spider-Man really is perfect. 

Wade starts putting the trash into bags, Spidey urges him to make another one for recyclables, and the other man peels the sheets off of his too small bed. When Spider-Man makes a joke about Wade fitting on a twin, he suddenly feels...weird. Cleaning up together in comfortable silence with light banter, it feels like a dream. It's so domestic that Wade's chest aches a little. 

 

“You're like a cockroach." Spidey says from the living room, once they move on to clean the rest of Wade's apartment. Wade laughs so hard that he can feel tears start to form. “Why? Because I don't die no matter what people do?” Wade asks, gasping for breath. The joke isn't  _ that  _ funny, but Spidey usually doesn't make jokes on the topics of his mortality. It makes him ‘sad’ or whatever. Spider-Man snorts a little as he laughs, a little quirk that turns Wade’s insides to mush. “I was talking more about the mountains of rotting food but I guess that part is accurate too.” 

 

Spidey makes Wade pick up all the weapons and instructs him to put them on the couch. “You know, cockroaches are gross but they aren't  _ that  _ bad. Honestly, they're kind of cute if bugs are your thing.Down at my lab there's a department that uses those huge ones from Madagascar for experiments.” He gives a little hint of his personal life, Wade mentally adds it to the scattered pieces from past conversations. It's like a puzzle, he hopes to figure out about Spider-Man one day. A guy thats so selfless and kind must have a great home life, maybe if Wade was raised right he could be that perfect. Wade spends lots of time thinking about the man under the mask, Spider-Man is everything he isn't. He probably goes to church with the elderly aunt he has. Aware of the fact that he's been quiet for awhile, stuck in his own thoughts, Wade panics. He goes to his usual defense, a joke. He has to give Spidey something to laugh at before he starts laughing at him. “Are you calling me cute Webs?” He asks, bending over seductively to pick up an old box of pizza.

 

Spider-Man shrugs. “Yeah, maybe.” Wade forces a laugh at the discomfort he feels and goes back to working. His heart pounds but he tells himself to ignore it. For some reason its Spider-Man filling the empty space now, talking nervously. “You're not a bad guy. Obviously, I don't know what you look like under that suit, but you have a great body. You're a little bit flakey but you do have a good personality. If you weren't so hell bent on avoiding self care then you might be able to appreciate those kinds of things. It's fine to be a little insecure but if you're going to be around forever, or however your not dying thing works, then you should at least make it worth it. Aside from working on your very loose morals, all you really need to do to be the best version of yourself is just be nice to yourself. You don't have to live like a trash goblin, you might even feel better if you don't.” 

 

Wade rubs the back of his neck. “You're just being nice man, but I appreciate it." Spider-Man crosses his arms. “I know you want to be changed but you don't have to be a new man. You're fine how you are, but it's nice to get a little polishing every now and then. I like you how you are but it pisses me off when you treat yourself like shit. I'm sorry if I'm crossing any lines but I don't like when my friends are upset.” 

 

They clean in silence for the next hour or two, Wade's head racing. He  _ wants  _ to change for Spidey, he never considered being alright as is. All his life he hasn't been good enough, he hasn't been the right person, but hearing his idol tell him that he deserves to love himself? Wade can barely process it. If he didn't know better then he'd blame his thoughts on the chemical fumes of the cleaning products.

 

Spidey sits down with Wade and they come up with a list of things to buy. Now that the apartment is clean, Wade feels how empty it is. Maybe that's why he lets it get so disgusting, he doesn't feel how completely alone he is. In another life he probably would've had a family by now, he might have been happy. Spidey insists on going to Target for him and picking up the items they decide on. Wade gives him money to get sheets, tableware, and a few more hoodies. While the vigilante dedicates his day off to picking up the supplies, he gives Wade the job of watching some makeover show on Netflix. Wade  _ loves  _ a good makeover but Spidey said that he isn't trying to change Wade. He's trying to ‘Queer Eye’ him, and that the show is the only way to truly explain his intentions. Obviously, Wade isn't going to avoid seeming with LGBT+ implications.

 

When Spider-Man leaves he gives Wade a hug. Not some bro-hug, a proper hug. He can feel Spidey smiling against his shoulder. “We did good today, I'm proud of you.” Spider-Man leaves as the sun comes up, Wade watches him go before he drops his trash bags out of the window and into the alley below.


	5. Mouth

Wade's heart feels like it's about to explode. Spider-Man is definitely out of his element and disoriented, definitely acting crazy. The entire night Spidey has been a little off, but Wade just assumed that he's tired. Most of the time he's running on empty, but tonight isn't like that. 

 

After getting hit in the head  _ really hard,  _ Spider-Man asked that they go back to Wade's place. With clean floors and lavender candles, it actually looks like someone lives there. Spidey has been over a lot more and Wade is proud of his space. However, the request is still strange. Usually, Wade is the one to invite the other man to his house, but Spidey just begins to head over without even waiting for a response. Wade follows, very concerned for his friend. 

 

“Dude, are you good? I think you need to go to a doctor. You might have a concussion or something.” Wade says, his distress increasing as Spidey stumbles again. “I'm fine, don't worry.” he says, his words a little bit slurred. If they hadn't been together for the past few hours, Wade would have assumed that his companion was completely drunk off of his ass. Spidey starts to rummage through Wade's drawers and he starts to takes off his suit. Wade knows he shouldn't watch his friend get undressed, that he's a disgusting pervert for not looking away, but he lies to himself and justifies it by saying the only reason is that he's concerned for his friend. Spidey puts on a pair of pajama pants and a tshirt, his mask is the only part of his costume that's left. Even though they aren't too dramatically different height wise, Wade's clothes look huge on him because Spidey is a lot less bulky than he is.

 

Spider-Man walks over to the couch and lays down, the bottoms of his feet are a little bit dusty because Wade has been forgetting to sweep. “Spides, I'm sort of freaking out a little bit here, tell me what I have to do to help you.” Wade is panicking, the way Spider-Man just lays there. He's not moving and with the mask on Wade can’t tell if his eyes are closed. He should try and keep his friend awake if it really is the result of a head injury.

 

Wade's mind wanders. He thinks about how good their partnership has been for him and he thinks about how well he's doing lately. Then, just like it always does, his brain switches to the negatives. Wade should've stopped the blow to his head, what if Spider-Man dies because he didn't? What if he kills the one person who has ever helped him, who has ever cared? Wade has had a few nightmares in the past about him killing on a job and on one of the bodies he finds Spidey’s mask, killing him without knowing it was him. Wade seems to always be his own downfall and if he isn't too hurt now, Spidey will be eventually. He's destructive and fucked up beyond repair, Wade fears the transition from cleaning apartments to becoming very close. Somewhere, somehow, Wade is going to hurt Spider-Man eventually.

 

He feels a hand pat his cheeks and Wade blinks back into the present. He's on the couch now, Spidey sprawled across him and patting his face. “Hey man, why are you crying? Im okay...Im good dude.” he says, his voice sounding whiny and distracted. Wade notices that he is in fact crying and the disoriented Spider-Man is trying to comfort him. Spidey acts like an anchor in his life, grounding him when he doesn't even realize he needs it. “I'm alright Spidey, I'm just worried about you. I should've been more focused so that you didn't get all fucked up.” Spider-Man shakes his head. “I get hurt all the time Pool, it's not your job to look after me. But thanks, I guess.” Wade nods. “You're always here for me, I just want to support you back.” 

 

Spider-Man sits up, rubbing his hands together anxiously. “If you really want to, then can I tell you something? It might make me feel better…” he says, sounding extremely nervous. “I don't think you should be doing confessions if you aren't in your right mind baby boy, you might regret it later.” Wade reassures him, praying that Spider-Man isn't going to reveal his identity or anything too serious. As much as Wade would love to know, it's up to Spidey to be that vulnerable with him. Spidey nods lazily, his head flopping around in a way that makes him look like a bobble head.

 

“So I know you're into everyone, or something like that, and I wanted to tell you that I'm bisexual.” Wade holds back his gasp, letting the other man continue. “I've been thinking about telling you for a few days because I think you'd like to know that we aren't  _ that  _ different.” Wade just mumbles “Yeah.” in response, unsure how to feel about his new information. “I just wanted to connect with you.” says the hero, patting him on the knee. Spidey is very touchy-touchy tonight.

 

“Have you ever had like...a boyfriend before?” He asks, trying to decide if asking that would cross their boundaries. “Yeah, had a few. Some girlfriends, some boyfriends, I'm not the stuck up virgin baby that you think I am.” He laughs and Wade joins in awkwardly. Just because Spider-Man is bi doesn't mean that he's obligated to be part of Wade's fantasies.

 

“I've been thinking about you romantically lately, I don't know why. I like to spend time with you.” Wade swallows, his throat suddenly feeling too dry. “Yeah Webs, I like spending time with you too.” Spider-Man takes some deep breaths, Wade watching his chest rise and fall dramatically. This seems to sober him up a little bit, or at least grounds him. His voice doesn't shake as much the next time he speaks. “Can I kiss you Deadpool?” Spidey rolls up his mask and scoots closer, Wade is pretty sure that Spidey can hear his heart pounding. “Are you sure? You're all discombobulated, you don't know what you're saying right now.”

 

Spidey shakes his head no, placing his hand on Wade's cheek. He doesn't want his mask to come up, he doesn't want Spider-Man to kiss him just because his brain is all swollen or whatever. Spidey might be trying hard to convince him that he's worthy of love and respect, but Wade doesn't believe it. He doesn't deserve delicate moments, or domestic life, or love. He does it to make Spider-Man happy. Fake it ‘til you make it has always been one of Wade's go to plans. Spidey lifts the mask just enough for Wade's lips to show.

 

He leans in to kiss him, every wet dream and half of his nightmares coming true. Spider-Man is really about to kiss him. Suddenly, Wade remembers something terrible and pushes Spider-Man off. The hero sits, stunned, and quietly apologizes. They both fix their masks. 

 

Wade is prone to self destruction, being able to heal from anything has only encouraged those tendencies. Wade has been getting better at the whole self care thing lately but despite his new hygiene habits, his oral health has been a weak point. Wade prefers to knock his teeth out, or pull them out, and sometimes he even just yanks them because of cavities. It hurts a lot and he kind of enjoys the process, because Wade Wilson is a sick bastard. His breath smells like shit from the endless garbage he eats and he never has to worry about it because his mask covers most of the smell up. It's a perfect excuse.

 

“I...I don't have a toothbrush.” He says, hoping Spider-Man can realize that he  _ wants  _ to kiss him but he can't now. Thankfully Spidey nods. “You're right, I should wait until my head feels better. I'll catch up with you in a few days, okay? I rest and you buy some toothpaste?” He chuckles quietly. “Rain check?” Wade smiles. “Yeah buddy, rain check.” 

 

That night, after Spider-Man has gone home, Wade goes out to a CVS and buys the most expensive toothpaste they have. He almost buys a Spider-Man electric toothbrush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **unedited**


End file.
